Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Radioactive

My worth
measured in beads of sweat
pooling at my collar bones
sliding then catching at my dermal piercings before disappearing in my shirt.
Timeless.
"I'm waking up to ash and dust
I wipe my brow and sweat my rust"
My worth
Measured in minutes not wasted
and calories burned.
Just one more.
Feel the air fill my lungs
Laboring up a steep incline on the treadmill.
More.
Sinews, tendons, bones, ashes.
Look in the gym mirror
Intoxicated at the sight of bone and muscle and slow motion drips of sweat
"I'm breathing in the chemicals"
My worth
Measured by the contours of my face
turn right then left
Green eyes probe
Breath in, chin up, then down, this is how I'm supposed to be
Thin.
Trace my jaw with light fingers
"This is it, the apocalypse."
You don't know that what you say burns
Softly
Thin film of expectations of indifference
Wake up
Hair beginning to grow to learn to cascade
As I climb down the ladder from my bed
You can be anything
Someone
You can be anything before breakfast
"I raise my flags, don my clothes
It's a revolution I suppose"
Tell me you love me but
I'll tell you I love you always
"I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
I'm radioactive, radioactive"

16 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. It really is. Lots of contradictions. <3

      Delete
  2. Beautiful post, hun. And you're beautiful too.
    Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. <3 thanks love. I happen to think you are too.

      Delete
  3. This is beautiful. And you, my dear, look stunning as always. <3 xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think so but thank you :)
      Brightened my day.

      Delete
  4. You're gorgeous sweetie, really flowing post too, you are a good writer <3
    Alice xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow, this poem is so moving and beautiful! You know how to capture and express emotion in writing so well, I believe you have a real talent. And you are truly stunning! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well thank you dear. :D You're a pretty great little writer yourself! Sometimes when I write I imagine music with it so I decided to add a song between the lines. Turned out to be something good so maybe I'll make more poems like that. :D
      Aww thanks :D

      Delete
  6. This is amazing. You have a gift, my dear. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Darling, you truly touched me with this post.. excuse me now while I scroll back up and re-read it..

    Much love,
    Lu.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Killed me. Thank you :D I looked at some of yours and they were really really great too! I'll definitely be reading yours!
      <3

      Delete
  8. You should write a whole book of poetry, I would gobble it up. Lovelyyyyyy. Isn't it stupid how we allow numbers to define our worth? Remember you're a talented and beautiful girl with a kind heart. THOSE are qualities that make you worthy. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everyone is just making my day! I think the song lyrics and poetry is a good fit for me, and by accident. Thank you dear! Just killed me over and over. I needed this from you guys. :)

      Delete